It’s You, Oh Fuck, It’s ME is not a relationship book about communicating better, loving harder, healing faster, or finding the “right” person.
It’s about why you keep doing the same shit in different relationships and calling it bad luck, trauma, or growth. This book is about patterns. The ones you already know you have. The ones you can explain beautifully. The ones you’re still living anyway.
It’s about why intimacy feels unsafe, why closeness turns into control or withdrawal, why you shut down, explode, cheat, avoid, numb out, or leave the moment things stop feeling comfortable. It’s about why blame feels easier than responsibility, and why insight has quietly become another way to stay exactly the same.
Written by a psychotherapist who’s lived it—not just studied it—this book cuts through self-help fluff, spiritual bypassing, and therapy-speak to get to the uncomfortable truth underneath modern relationships: most of us don’t lack awareness. We lack presence. And we use understanding as a defence.
You’ll read about why “knowing your triggers” doesn’t stop you reacting. Why childhood wounds become a lifelong excuse. Why anxiety, depression, addiction, and relationship chaos are different expressions of the same avoidance. Why most people mistake escape for freedom and call it healing.
This isn’t a book that gives you tools, scripts, or techniques to manage behaviour while staying unconscious. There are no communication hacks, no attachment quizzes, no affirmations, no tidy solutions you can perform for a week and then forget. That’s the point. Change doesn’t happen because you understand yourself better. It happens when you stop abandoning yourself in real time.
This book lives in the gap between what you already know and how you actually behave when it matters. When you’re tired. When you’re triggered. When you feel rejected, unseen, or out of control. When your nervous system wants to protect you and you call it “just who I am.” You’ll be confronted. You’ll probably get defensive. You might feel seen in ways you didn’t ask for. Good.
This book isn’t here to make you feel better about yourself. It’s here to make you more honest. About your patterns. Your defences. Your contribution to the mess you keep complaining about. If you’re looking for reassurance, validation, or someone to blame—this isn’t your book. If you want real change without performance, spiritual bullshit, or pretending you’re more evolved than you are—this might finally be it.
This book is for people who are done outsourcing responsibility and ready to sit in the discomfort long enough for something real to shift. Because at some point, it stops being your parents, your ex, your trauma, or your attachment style. At some point… it’s you.
Non-fiction, Raw, Blunt, Honest, Confrontational
About The Author
Chad Taylor is a psychotherapist, writer, and podcast host who got tired of watching insight turn into another way people avoid change.
He works with individuals and couples stuck in repeating patterns—intimacy issues, emotional shutdown, conflict, addiction, and the quiet ways people abandon themselves while calling it growth.
His work cuts through self-help clichés and spiritual bypassing to focus on responsibility, presence, and repair. Less fixing. More honesty.
Chad is the author of It’s You, Oh Fuck, It’s ME and the host of the podcast of the same name, where conversations sit in the uncomfortable space between what we already know and what we still refuse to live. He lives and practices in New South Wales, Australia.
